Posted on September 27 2017
10 Ways to Get Back to Yourself (Kind of)
Guest Post By Jen Richardson
From the moment you get pregnant, thoughts about you and your needs often get pushed to the wayside. Everything you eat (or don’t eat) is for the baby. Every sleep position you’re in is for the baby. Your life is like a Bryan Adams song. “You know it's true, everything I do, I do it for you”
Everything you do however, is for the safety of the baby.
Then the baby comes and thoughts about you aren’t pushed to the wayside anymore. They are gone totally gone. For the first few months (especially) you need to be reminded to shower and if you weren’t starving due to breastfeeding then you’d forget to eat. Some days you realize you haven’t changed your clothes in an amount of time that is truly G-R-oss.
It’s hard to remember about yourself when you’ve gone instinctually into mamabear mode and your only thoughts are about keeping your baby safe, fed and somewhat clean. After a few months of smelling terribly, you start to come up for air a bit, mostly due to asphyxiation from stench. And showering starts to feel like a trip to a spa vs. a nuisance. However just showering is not enough. Our modus operandi of being “solely mom” can no longer sustain us. We aren’t just moms. I’m not just a mom. I’m a woman. And women have needs.
Yesterday, I had a much needed massage.
My shoulder and neck was so tight that I have to go back in a week or so because my neck felt like a rope on a sailboat. My neck and shoulder had actually hurt for months, since pregnancy I think. My baby is 9.5 months and I only went now. I also went to the dentist for the first time in what seems like forever, when I had an achy tooth also for months. When my baby was 7 months, I got my hair done for the first time in a year. I let myself go over the last year. I became a sweatpanted stereotype. Which is fine except that it didn’t make me feel good about myself.
Does This Article Resonate With You?
Sign Up Below and get more articles like this one and $5 off your order at www.thekindredclothinco.com
Here are ten things that I think will help us all as we continue on this motherhood path, so that we’re able to keep at minimum a fragment of our former selves:
- Buy some new clothes. You don’t need to spend a lot of money. But get some key pieces that make you want to smile at yourself in the mirror.
- At minimum, wash your face. I’m a makeup girl. I love it. It makes me feel like myself. I realize that makeup is not everyone’s jam, so at minimum, wash and moisturize your face.
- Speaking of moisturizer, your skin feels like an alligator. Rub some lotion on sister.
- Have sex with your partner. Remember him/her? They love you. You love them. Sex feels good. Sounds like a good plan to me.
- Get yo’ hair did. You don’t have to spend a lot of money, just do something that feels refreshing. I don’t recommend a drastic cut or drastic colour in the first few years. That may make you feel less like yourself. Wait until your hormones are in check before you do that. But get a trim, or freshen your colour. It’ll make you feel like a million bucks.
- Stop eating so much garbage. You’ll win a friend in yourself if you opt for a salad every now and then.
- Get back to your hobbies. Your hobbies always made you feel great about yourself. If you no longer have interest in your old hobbies, start new ones.
- Read a book. I know this seems like a pipe dream, but it doesn’t matter how long it takes you to read that book. But every time you steal a few minutes for yourself to read a page or two, you’re going to feel pretty darn good about yourself.
- Meet friends for a drink or a lunch without your baby. Like you used to, before you had a baby.
- Go outside each day. Fresh air is your friend.
There are more things that you could do to help you feel like the woman you once were. And it’s important that you do these things because who you were before baby is how you became a mom in the first place. She’s an important part of yourself. You’re definitely different now, you’re a mom, and you’re a woman. You’re a wo-mom. And you’re still fabulous.
What are some things you did to re-find yourself?